I cannot begin to explain the scope of my emotions these past two weeks. As a writer, I should find this an easy task. Working with words is my thing, after all. But when a long-held dream comes true, words do tend to fail.
I'd started penning short stories in the fourth grade. They were comical little pieces about a little man from Mars who came to Earth, trying to make sense of things we humans did. He was constantly getting into trouble. Picture Lucy (of I Love Lucy) with green skin, a large pointy head and four-foot stature. I fell in love with my classmates' laughter as they read those goofy stories. This is what I want to do, my heart cried. Write!
So I promised myself that once I got out of school, I'd write a book. As with the dreams of so many people, life got in the way. Marriage, children, family responsiblities, college, work...excuses all. I was afraid, if the truth were told, afraid to try. What if I tried and failed? Then my dream would die. Thus I held my dream close to my heart, afraid to share it.
Now, as a parent I would never have allowed such nonesense from my children. I'd have encouraged, pushed, proded, yelled until they threw their fears aside and pursued their dreams. Yet I was afraid to pursue mine.
Enter stage left: Calvin Davis. A man I fell in love with and married late in life; a man who asked me what my dreams were. When I shared, he told me in no uncertain terms that I must write. I frantically looked around me for excuses--I'm so good at that, you know. He would have none of them. "Write," he'd say in that school teacher voice of his.
So I began and shared my floundering efforts with him. He edited, and I sulked. How...how could he be so harsh when my writing was so "wonderful?" I began reading articles and books, soon to realize that I was doing many things wrong. I began to grow as a writer.
Two weeks ago, my agent started "shopping out" Storm's Interlude. In less than a week, I had a contract offer. This week, I've had another. After all those years of fearing I wouldn't be good enough, two publishers want my romance novel. Mere words could never describe my feelings. For dreams can come true, once you cast aside your fears.
Now I must decide which publisher to go with...decisions...decisions.