Blog by VONNIE DAVIS -- International, Award-Winning Romance Author: Adventurous...Humorous...Amorous.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

THE SISTERHOOD OF FALLEN BOOBS

I went for my mammogram today. I won't say I was looking forward to it. But, in life, it is one of those necessary evils like changing the litter box or getting a root canal. I mean, face it, a mammogram is the only medical proceedure where you can walk in a 46 Regular and walk out a 52 Long.

Once I was through, I returned to the dressing area where three other women sat in their gowns, waiting for their boobfest. After changing into my clothes, I stepped out of the cubicle and asked if any of them were readers. All three nodded. "Romance?" Wide smiles spread, and they chimmed in the affirmative.

(I must stop mid-story to tell you once I recieve my bookcovers, I order regular-sized postcards from Vistaprint. I download my cover for one side and have my blurb printed on the other along with places it can be ordered. I arrange the covers in the order of their release, tie a ribbon around each set, and carry several in the outside pocket of my purse. This makes it easy to whip out a set and give it to someone. Cost? 100 cards--12.49 + download of bookcover--2.49 + color printing backside--4.99 = $19.97. If I can catch the postcard when they're offering them for Free, the cost is even cheaper.)
 
 
Back to the tale of my shameless act of self-promotion. I handed each of the ladies a set of postcards. "Maybe you'd enjoy reading one of my books."
 
"Did you write these?" One lady looked at me in awe. Guess I just don't look like the mental perception of a "hawt" romance writer.
 
"Yes." I smiled and turned to walk out.
 
"Wait!" One lady stood. "You...you seem so...so approachable."
 
Goodness how did she expect me to act? "I'm just a retired woman who fills her days by writing love stories. I'm no different than you." I smiled and waved a hand toward my bust. "Besides, don't you think there's a sisterhood of fallen boobs in the mammogram waiting room?"
 
They were all laughing as I walked out. "Save the girls," I chimmed as I closed the door, nearly running into the mammogram technician who'd come for her next patient. I was nearly at the end of the hall when the technician called for me to stop.
 
She was running toward me. "Mrs. Davis, may I have some cards, too?" She gave me the once over, her eyes huge. "I had no idea I was handling the boobs of a writer," she all but oozed. Well, for heaven's sake.
 
I just checked novel rank and saw I'd sold two copies of each of my books today. So maybe my self-promotion wasn't a complete "bust." Moral of the story: Always be ready to promote, much as you dislike it. Like a Boy Scout, be prepared.
 
Next month is Breast Cancer Awareness month. If you haven't had a mammogram in the past year or two, please do yourself and your children a favor and schedule yours. Ten minutes of discomfort is a small price to pay.
 
While I have your attention, I'd like to ask if any of you have faced this terrible disease or have a loved one who has? If so, you should gift yourself or that loved one with a copy of Mackenzie Crowne's story of her battle with breast cancer. It's an uplifting story of hope written by someone who's been there.
 
 

41 comments:

Tiffany N. York said...

Haha Vonnie, only you could come up with that ingenious idea. I would have NEVER thought of that. Good for you. You got moxie, girl!

Maeve said...

You always know how to turn a negative into a smile, Vonnie! You rock!

Barbara Mountjoy said...

I do the exact same thing with Vistaprint postcards, Vonnie--it's a great instant handout, and the covers on the front are so much more eyecatching than a business card. I've never handed them out at the hospital though...I'm due for my checkup, tho, so I guess I'll order another round! Great column.

Angela Adams said...

Vonnie, this was probably meant to be a serious piece, but I couldn't help but chuckle at the image of you all standing in your checkered hospital gowns, talking and talking about romance novels. Hope all is well with the mammogram.

Vonnie Davis said...

Tiffany, hon, if we don't promote ourselves, who will? I don't enjoy it, but make myself do it. We eat out alot, and when I see a woman alone, reading, I approach her. I ask her what she's reading. We talk briefly about the book, and then I hand her a packet of my postcard covers tied together with a ribbon. She's happy. I'm happy.

Vonnie Davis said...

Thanks, Maeve. There's an old Blues song Calvin often sings, "I'm laughin'. Laughin' just to keep from cryin'." I hate all the promotion we have to do. Non writers haven't got a clue. LOL

Vonnie Davis said...

Yes, Barb, you better. They'll be passed from one person to the next. Thanks for stopping by!

Vonnie Davis said...

Angela, people talk about letting their hair down, but there's nothing like being with a group of women who've let their boobs down.

Nona Raines said...

Note to self: no more drinking coffee while reading Vonnie's blog. I splurted it all over when I read "52 long" and again when I got to "boobfest". Thanks, Vonnie, for the reminder about taking care of ourselves and to promote our books as well. "The boobs of a writer"--that phrase will have to go down in history!

Vonnie Davis said...

Oh, Nona, it was the first time I was ever treated like anyone important and it was all because of my boobs. Is there no respect???

Calisa Rhose said...

I'm laughing...I'm crying! Wonderful post, Vonnie. I'm proud to be in the sisterhood with the likes of you. And I don't even need to handle your boobs!

Great prompt for Mac's book. As the editor for it, I can attest that this is a book EVERYONE needs to read- whether your life has been touched by this disease, or not.

Kate Worth said...

I loved your blog! Very funny :) After nursing four children, my mammograms are not as trying as they should be.
And what a great idea for the Vistaprint cards. I think I'll steal it!

Vonnie Davis said...

Thanks, Calisa, My family has been very fortunate in regards to breast cancer, although my children's stepmom had it. We were friends by then--the best way to share kids, BTW--and I gave her a shoulder to cry on often. Her husband, my ex, was not the most supportive of souls. Yes, there are many forms of sisterhood. And as for Mac's book--just can't say enough good things about it. Well done...very well done.

Vonnie Davis said...

Steal away, Kate. Promoting our works is hard for writers.

Maggie Toussaint said...

Hi Vonnie,

Your post resonated with me as I just had my mamogram two days ago. Don't they know we are losing the war against gravity? No wonder boobs hang low on senior citizens. Where the heck's our anti-gravity pill???

Beth Trissel said...

I love this post, Vonnie. Living in such a conservative area, I haven't gone out of the way to promote myself. But what a good idea. Hmmmm...

Betsy Ashton said...

My cousin is a double survivor. I sent her a link to this post. She's still howling. Thanks for making me laugh about a very serious topic...

Mackenzie Crowne said...

Aww, Vonnie dear, thanks so much for the shoutout and the great morning laugh. Mammograms are a whole new animal after reconstruction. Talk about perpetual perkiness! ;-)The techs avoid the big squeeze and the films are hilarious. Bright white half moons surrounded by a fingernail of flesh.

I'm so glad to read you're all watching out for the Ta-Tas. Early detection is the best defense.

And thanks for the tip, oh promo queen! I'm off to Vistaprint! ;-)

Jerrie Alexander said...

Vonnie! Your post is by far the best laugh of the day.And what a great idea, of which, I may steal shamelessly.

Great blog.

Vonnie Davis said...

Maggie, if you can invent the anti-gravity pill you'd be a billionaire. Thanks for leaving a comment. It's always great hearing from you.

Vonnie Davis said...

Beth, a packet of ribbon tied colorful postcards is so easy to pass along. Thanks for stopping by.

Vonnie Davis said...

Betsy, your cousin is a hero. Truly. To survive two attacks??? She's most definitely hero/heroine material.

Vonnie Davis said...

Mac, I'd never thought of mammograms being different after reconstruction. Thanks for sharing.

Vonnie Davis said...

Jerrie, glad I made you smile. Steal away, dearheart.

Rolynn Anderson said...

Great post, Vonnie. We must be sisters...shameless in our promotion. I even handed my postcard to the waiter at the restaurant last night (he overheard me talking about my latest book). I must say, however, that hanging out at a boob-squashing place is brilliant! P.S. I think we forgot to set a date for me to visit your blog in October. Any time left? I'll go for November if not. Thanks! Your sis :-)

Vonnie Davis said...

Rolynn, I'll email you later today once I'm home with my calendar. We're at our writing haunts today, drinking mass quantities of coffee and writing...or blogging. Thanks for reminding me.

Kellie Kamryn said...

I make sure to carry cards around or something so whenever the topic comes up, I can promote myself. I do know people who have battled breast cancer and won. I send healing to everyone going through it.

Vonnie Davis said...

Breast cancer is such an insidious disease. It affects women not only physically, but emotionally. Society places so much emphasis on breasts.

Daryl Devore said...

My mammogram is Monday - gotta look after the girls. Awesome post.

Vonnie Davis said...

Yup, Daryl, we do. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment.

Nancy Jardine said...

Beautifully done, Vonnie and the plug for Mac is perfect. Do you think the 'cards' idea will work just as well when I go in a couple of weeks for my cervical smear test? ...:-) Just kidding, but I like your idea.

Vonnie Davis said...

Oh, Nancy, I think it's a perfect "bottoms-up idea!" Why not?

Andrea Downing said...

I wish I had that idea, Vonnie. I had my mammo just this past Mon. And there are always readers in waiting rooms!

Vonnie Davis said...

Let's label this blogpost a service announcement for writers. Also bring along promo items wherever you go.

Sandra Dailey said...

Awesome post, Vonnie. You gave us an entertaining story with two messages.

Vonnie Davis said...

Thanks, Sandra. Promote and protect, you writers' mantra of the day. LOL

morgan said...

Amazing promo job. Congrats on all your upcoming books too.

Vonnie Davis said...

Thanks, Morgan. Now that I've started writing, I can't seem to stop. It's like all those ideas put on the back burner for years are now bubbling over.

Lilly Gayle said...

What an ingenious promotional "tip." Loved it. Loved your story too. I'm a mammogram "technologist" and breast cancer survivor. This December marks 5 years of being cancer free. Yay! And I have read Mac's book and loved it. It's a MUST read for anyone who's had breast cancer or knows someone who's had it. Loved it!

Vonnie Davis said...

We'll have to do an online celebration on your 5 year anniversary, Lilly. How awesome!!! Yay you! I agree with your take on Mac's book. It's a real gem.

Sandra Cox said...

Too funny. You go girl.