Blog by VONNIE DAVIS -- International, Award-Winning Romance Author: Adventurous...Humorous...Amorous.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

LIVING WITH A WRITER

Many of you know I'm married to a writer. I've talked about his upcoming book, now released. Yay! I have pictures of his bookcover and links to his book trailer here on my blog. But what is it REALLY like living with a writer? What's the down-low?

When Calvin and I married in 2003, I was playing with writing. You know, a few paragraphs written when it fit into my schedule. I was still afraid to jump into it fulltime. So, when I married a writer, it was a bit of a shock. I mean, the man wrote EVERY day!!!

I used to say he agonized all morning over whether to put in a comma and then agonized all afternoon if he should take it back out. If we went away for the day, as soon as we got back home he'd hurry into the den, close the door and write like a fiend to make up for ignoring his writing, his passion all day. I was alone for the rest of the night and I just couldn't get it.

Then there were evenings when, in the middle of a movie or a TV show, he'd get antsy, shifting in his chair. He'd kiss my hand and say he had to go work on his story. He'd leave me alone again, and I just couldn't get the pull of the story. Why...how did it pull at him? I'll even confess to being a little jealous of the book. Did it mean more than I?

I won't even mention the times he'd jostle me out of a sound sleep to tell me he had to get up to change a paragraph. Did I understand? Not for a nano-second.

But I was a writer. Wasn't I? Shouldn't I have understood?

Then one day, Calvin said, "Time to stop with the excuses. Time to write. You're retired. Write." I listed my excuses: housework, laundry, cooking...et al. He turned me toward the tiny bedroom that held my computer. "Go. Write. Your muse awaits."

Calvin did that for me. He made me face my muse. Now finally, as the release date approaches for my own book, I get his devotion to his craft.

I understand all the hours he devoted to the phantom lady. All those hours he mentally retreated to Paris, the setting for his book. I'd watch him pour over street maps of the City of Light to make sure he had the streets correct. He spent hours online making sure the cafes he remembered from his time there in '68-69 still had the same names, especially the cafes where he wrote every day.  



Thanks to Calvin, heart of my heart, I get it.




11 comments:

Sue Palmer Fineman said...

Calvin sounds like a really special guy. I wish my husband understood about the need to be quiet while I'm working.

Vonnie Davis said...

Truthfully, Sue, I think only another "actual" writer understands fully. Up untl the day he made me stop "playing" at it and start "living" it, I only had a vague clue as to the pull of the story and characters. I've learned a lot from him. He's the best.

Melinda said...

Vonnie,

I totally understand what you are saying. I get wrapped up in my writing and its as if I am there and its hard to come back to the real world.

Congrats to Calvin and to you for your upcoming books

They are on my must read list

Walk in harmony,
Melinda

Vonnie Davis said...

Thanks for stopping by, Melinda. I always enjoy your comments.

Susan Macatee said...

I think it must be easier for a male writer to ignore those household pulls that take you away from writing. I struggle with them every day, plus now have a new puppy to add to the mix.

Good for him for forcing you to take the time to focus on your writing!

Clover Autrey said...

Interesting perspective from the other side.

Vonnie Davis said...

Oh, Susan, a new puppy? How nice. I simply loved your "Confederate Rose." Well written and very engaging.

Vonnie Davis said...

clover, thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

Calisa Rhose said...

I've always been a writer, or not been one. I never really thought about those around me who are not until recently. I guess I sort of figured it was my job. Hubbs went to work at the crack of dawn, kids went to school soon after- I wrote. It was the way it was. Period. Then hubbs began complaining about the time I spent writing and not publishing Complaining it would never happen to me. This last Christmas my youngest daughter and her husband gave me a certificate of achievement for my birthday (it's three days after Christmas). I asked what it was for and she said- "Because we love you for all you've ever done for us as our mother, as Daddy's wife. For trying. I know this is your year and we all want you to know how much we (my other two dds included) support you. We know you'll get published soon because you work so hard at it and never neglected us while doing it. And because we love you." A month later I got my first R&R on a full novel, and then shortly after that sold my novella.

I don't know what it's like to be on their side of a writer's life- but I'm happy I know what's it's like on mine.

Thanks for sharing!

Vonnie Davis said...

Calisa, bravo for your perserverence!! You didn't give up. You kept working, improving and finally, succeeding. Yay you! How wonderful that your daughters saw your hard work as a positive influence. Thanks for stopping by.

Leah St. James said...

Great story, Vonnie, and a great lesson for all writers, no matter what stage! I'm putting your hubby's book on my TBR list!