Monday Musings by Vonnie Davis

My husband has a birthday today, Sunday--his 85th. There are a difference of 16 years in age between us, even though we all know I'm barely 39. We had a low key celebration, both of us just happy to have another day together. Especially me, for my biggest fear is losing my Calvin.

I'd existed through 12 years of loneliness after my divorce, too scared to reach out and try again. Still trying to work through the pain of it all. I think I was sending out strong "Can't Touch This" vibes. Some hearts heal quickly...some don't.

Then I met my hero, my soul mate, my champion.

How? Where?

Well, there's a story to that. It was the 12th anniversary of my divorce, a Friday. I bought take-out Chinese, a pack of Oreos, a bag of potato chips, and a bottle of wine. Oh folks, I was going to have a pity party for one and I planned to party hearty...cookie crumbs and all.

I don't drink a lot of wine. So by the time I was squeezing the last drops of vino out of the bottle, I was in the midst of a major crying jag. I was a nice person...why couldn't I find anybody? My ex never married the woman he had the baby with while we were still married. No, he married her best friend. Kinda makes your head spin, doesn't it?

Well, entrenched in the sugar and wine induced haze, I got on the Internet and joined Match dot Com. Lord only knows what I wrote on my profile. I sobbed into my last tissue and stumbled back to bed.

As sunlight poured though my bedroom curtains, I sat straight up in bed the next morning, hands over my ears so they wouldn't slide off my head, and exclaimed, "What have I done? I put myself on the Internet. Picture and all!"

I gentled my hungover head into my pillow. Tried my best to reach a calm state. After all, I was a grandma and a chubby one at that. Who'd be interested?

When I logged on, I found 8 emails from guys. I found some weirdos, some lazy bums hunting for a sugar momma to support them, and a few married men looking for a little action on the side. It didn't take me long to lose interest in the whole idea.

Two weeks later, I checked again. I actually found an intelligent email. "I read your profile with great interest. I see you majored in English. I taught English for forty years. You want to write. I'm about to have my second novel published. I took note you enjoy used book stores, yard sales, and outdoor concerts. I enjoy those things as well. Would you be interested in striking up a dialogue?" Yes, I have it memorized.

We emailed for a month, then progressed to instant messaging for hours, and one night he asked for my phone number so he could call and say goodnight in person. My heart beat an erratic pattern. He might be able to find me. I mean, who knew if he was telling me the truth? Sure we'd been "talking" online for 3 months, but...

I took a deep breath and gave it to him. As soon as I heard his deep voice, with a tinge of southern drawl, I was a goner. We were married a year to the date from when I received that first email from him.

Living with someone again hasn't been an easy adjustment. Learning to think of the other person first, to open up about past hurts, and to trust didn't come easy. I've been very lucky to find him. Calvin dotes on me...not so much materially, but emotionally which is exactly what I need. And we laugh. Our home is filled with laughter and love. Calvin's given me this.

Happy Birthday, my love. You complete me.