What Have You Done For Him Lately? by Sandra Dailey

It’s Valentine’s Day…but wait! Put that card down. Yes, right now. Drop those flowers in some water. There’s a vase under the kitchen sink. Don’t open that heart shaped box of candy yet. I saw that eye roll. For heaven’s sake stop searching the man’s pockets for jewelry store receipts.

Do you think you’re the only one in the world having Valentine’s Day today? I see you nodding your head. Don’t let your tiara fall off, Princess. It’s February 14^th for everybody and your name isn’t printed on the calendar. There’s no need to check, take my word for it…Put down the darn calendar!

Tell me something. What do you have planned for your man tonight? Ewwww, T.M.I.! I mean, while you still have clothes on. Sure, his motor is always running, but won’t you like to put him in the mood to rev yours up a little higher.

Give and take doesn’t mean him giving and you taking. NO IT DOESN’T. It means both of you giving as much as you take. Don’t pout, just sit down and listen.

This weekend I did a little research. I talked to three very important men who are known to be romance experts, namely, my husband, my brother, and my son. What can I say; I brought the boy up right. Anyway, this is what I learned.

Husband:  “The most romantic thing a woman ever did for me was when you’d put the kids to bed early or send them to your sister’s house. We’d have a nice quiet dinner without any arguments, spilt milk or spaghetti flying across the table. Then we’d relax with a movie that didn’t have to be animated. It really relieved the stress of the day. It meant a lot to me that you understood what I needed.”

Don’t smirk, he was a farmer then. He worked from sun-up until after dark, sometimes seven days a week. And, we had four kids all born within three years. The place was a zoo!

Brother:  “The best gift a woman can give me is something that lightens my load; have the lawn done or get my car detailed. Take care of one of those chores I’ve been trying to get to. That tells me that you understand the stress my work schedule puts me under and you want to help. Another great gift is something that fits my interests; a new sports bag or a fishing pole. It shows that you know what interests me and you support it.”

Don’t start shaking your head. You spend more money on a pair of shoes. And, he’s not asking you to bait a hook, for heaven’s sake.

Son:  “The most romantic gift I’ve ever received was a rock. My girlfriend gave me a polished heart shaped stone. It wouldn’t mean anything to anyone else, but it touched me. I keep it in my pocket and it reminds me of her all day long. It makes me smile.”

Yeah, I know, here’s a tissue.

Men are simple creatures, easy to please. So plan a nice dinner. Put on a sexy dress and a pair of heels. Feed the kids early tonight. Buy him something nice. And, while you wait for him to come home, you can buy my book.

Okay, okay, leave me a nice comment with your email address and you may be the person I send a free copy…but just one.

Twice the Trouble

Lacey Carlyle has worked for years to create the perfect blend of home, business and family. Now she risks losing everything when the land she farms is bought by the man who abandoned her thirteen years ago.

Alex has never understood why Lacey walked away from him. Now, he holds the deed to her farm and intends to make her pay. The only problem – two kids weren’t part of the plan.

Jenna and Jarrod may not see eye-to-eye but they are both determined to find happiness for their mom and keep their home safe.

Can Lacey and Alex put their pasts behind them and embrace a future together?

 

Available on Amazon

http://amzn.to/Wrxm6B

More about my online friend and awesome supporter--oh, and if you haven't read her THE CHIEF'S PROPOSAL, you're missing out. I simply loved the Chief and his story. Sigh ladies...simply sigh...

Sandra Dailey is an avid reader and lifelong story teller.  She caught the writing bug after winning a short story contest.  The Chief’s Proposal was her first published work and now she’s added Twice the Trouble, but she has many more stories to tell.

Sandra currently lives with her husband in north Florida.

If you’d like to look Sandra up for further advice:

http://www.sandradailey.com

http://www.sandradailey.blogspot.com

http://www.facebook.com/sandradailey.author

http://www.twitter.com/sdaileyauthor

http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6551048.Sandra_Dailey

 

LEAVE A COMMENT FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A COPY OF SANDRA'S LATEST BOOK!!!

 

AND HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, Y'ALL!

HONORING DIFFERENCES IN THE SEXES

Some years ago, society went through a phase where it was politically incorrect to acknowlege any difference in the sexes. A premise spawned from the thinking "women can do anything a man can." If fact, many women--including myself, for a period--were determined to do whatever their male counterparts did.

In my case, I learned to read blueprints and operate machinery in the heavy metals industry. I was a card-carrying member of the IAM, International Machinists Union. Steel-toed shoes and denim aprons were my fashion statement items. Slivers of steel were embedded under my skin, and I could lift heavy pieces of iron along with Joe and Nathan. Not that I necessarily wanted to compete with a man, but I wanted to earn what he was earning. And I did.

I also got my bachelors in English and eventually changed professions, becoming a technical writer. Throughout those thirty-plus years, I studied men. Hey, someone had to do it!!!

What did I learn? Men are so wonderfully different from women--and I highly respect the differences. For one, our bodies are delightfully dissimilar. And I smile widely as I write that statement.

And for another--and this is especially important for writers--we think and speak differently.

"How was work today?" Alice kissed her husband as he pulled off his grey tie.

"Good."

"Did you get that project done or didn't your partner come through with those research figures you needed?"

"No."

"No, what?" Alice waved her hand. "You didn't get the project done or Carl didn't get his reseach figures in?"

His head and shoulders disappeared behind the refrigerator door. "Where's the beer?"

You see, women like to find out things. Men, on the other hand, like to ignore. That's why if a woman suspects her husband is cheating on her, she will turn into the best private eye on the planet searching for clues. That's also why a man will ignore his discarded shoes and dirty socks on the living room floor, and a woman will pick them up.

There are basic personality differences between the sexes. Sometimes these differences endear the other person to us. At others, they drive us freakin' insane! Don't 'cha love it?

A woman will see another woman wearing a pretty top and notice the color and style. She'll take note of the way the wearer's cinched in her waist with a wide, red stylish belt.

A man looks at the same woman wearing the same blouse and think, nice boobs.

It's how we're wired. And, folks, we're wired differently.

Make sure you remember that in your writing.

I've just finished judging a contest where writers failed to acknowlege those differences. One had a guy remarking how the cut of the heroine's dress made her look short and stocky, instead of emphazing her tiny waist. Men DON'T think that way. Not unless they're fashion designers. In fact, most men are too busy checking out your boobs and butt to notice the color of the dress. They are visual creatures, but only in relation to the body parts that turn them on--or the paint job on a classic car.

When something makes a woman angry, she will growl and talk about it for hours. A man says, "Screw it!" And he's done talking. But, make no mistake, he's stewing mentally over whatever's got his boxers in a twist.

We talk differently. Men often speak in grunts and groans and monosyllabic words. Not all, though, and this is where your characterization comes in. My husband, a retired English teacher and author, can out talk me any day. It's part of his character, based on his education, creativity level and interests.

Women notice details. Men notice what they want. Women are multi-taskers. Men are singularly focused.

Remember these differences as you write and your characters will ring true.

THE WAY MEN TALK

Experts in writing remind us to note the differences in females and males when we delve deeply into their points of view. Men and women have different thought processes. Ya think? The same applies to dialog, experts claim. Men don't talk in complete sentences. Well, yes, there are those grunts one has to interpret as yea or nay grunts.

Still, the men I know speak quite well in complete sentences. Take my husband, the retired English teacher, for example. When he's not humming or singing--yes, he is a delightfully upbeat soul--he expresses himself in grand fashion. My oldest son, another language arts teacher, speaks with an effective turn of the phrase, too. Although I must say Steve can speak volumes with that arched eyebrow thingy he does when he finds what you're saying is infinitely stupid. My youngest son, who can monopolize a phone conversation for a good hour, speaks rather effectively, also. So, how can I realistically write dialog for my male characters when the men in my life don't speak in fits and starts?

When I'm out and about, I listen to the way people talk. I note the way women often jump from one topic to another in mid-stream as if their minds were racing on an idea treadmill. Men tend to repeat themselves, especially when conversing with other men. "Like I was sayin'..."

Women do use more adjectives. Men use more slang. Generally, a man's replies to a female's questions are short--probably because he's learned he only has .2 seconds to reply before the woman hits him with another question or a barrage of rapidly-fired sentences. Or is he merely responding in mono-syllables because he finds what the woman is droning on and on about inconsequential?

We are wired differently, aren't we? And thank goodness for that! Women love to talk. Men love to tune them out. Make sure you, as a writer, use those differences. Don't have all your characters sounding alike. We all have our own way of communicating--good, bad or grunty.