I love a story that reaches out
in the first paragraph and wraps its hand around my throat. One that grabs my
attention from the get-go and laughs or threatens, “Hang on, girl, I’m gonna
take you on a fantastic ride.”
Isn’t that what we want from a
book as readers? To be swept away from the pile of laundry, the dirty toilet or the five
pounds that somehow sneaked onto our bathroom scales? To be reminded of those push-and-pull moments of initial attraction to a man. To be swept away to some exotic place or another era? To be pulled into a dangerous situation? To be snatched by the writer onto an emotional ride from laughter to tears to anger or fear? If these statements are true, then we as writers must work hard at providing those moments for our readers.
But before we can attract the
reader to the plot of our stories, we have to snare their attention from the
initial words under the words: Chapter One.
To grab the reader, a writer needs a
good hook.
If an agent or editor isn’t hooked
immediately, she’ll reject the manuscript. Sometimes this happens after reading
the first five pages, but more often, the rejection comes after the first page, or worse the
FIRST paragraph. So, as writers, we must have a great hook. Something startling,
or charming, or amusing that makes our reader want to read on. A paragraph or
two that dares the reader to walk away. This is rarely easy.
Still, with a critical eye and a gazillion
rewrites, we can do it. Forget the fluff. In the past, it was more acceptable
to ground the reader with a setting or show the reader what the character’s
life was like in the past. Now, more and more editors and agents are asking—no,
demanding—the writer start with the inciting incident and then go back and fill
in the details.
Start your story at the inciting incident—the moment
where your character’s life changes, either for the better or the worse.
Let’s take a look at some examples. In Storm’s Interlude, I started with a
bizarre scene:
Someone swaggered out of
the moonlit night toward Rachel. Exhausted from a long day of driving, she
braked and blinked. Either she was hallucinating or her sugar levels had
plummeted. Maybe that accounted for the male mirage, albeit a very magnificent male mirage, trekking toward
her. She peered once more into the hot July night at the image illuminated by
her headlights. Sure enough, there he was, cresting the hill on foot—a naked
man wearing nothing but a black cowboy hat, a pair of boots and a go-to-hell
sneer.
Imagine the number
of rewrites to get that paragraph just the way I wanted it. Let’s take a look
at a few more opening hooks. In my opinion, opening hooks should speak to us,
make us shudder or smile, make us identify with the heroine or simply ask
questions that make us want to read on to find the answers. Here are some that
captured my attention right away. Openings that made me want to read on for a
variety of reasons.
Chase Paladin slammed on the brakes and prayed. Momentum,
and the heavy livestock trailer he was towing, sent his pickup careening toward
the red sports car idling in the middle of Route 66.
With tires smoking, he rocked to a stop inches from its rear
bumper. He peeled his fingers from the steering wheel and spared a glance for
Bo, who had slid off the seat onto the floor of the truck. The hound shook
himself.
-- Jannine Gallant’s
Nothing But Trouble. (Don’t you love the visuals she’s thrown in with just the right word choice, like “peeled his fingers”? This tells me I’m in for an excellent read.)
“Reese, if you weren’t dead, I swear, I’d kill you!” D’Anne
Palmer stomped from her mosquito-infested campsite toward the Laundromat. “Damn
it!” she cursed, smacking a super-sized, bloodsucking pest feasting on her
neck. -- Lynne Marshall’s One for the Road
(I love reading about a woman pissed,
which she clearly is. So, now, I have to read on to find out why she’s angry.
And who is this dead man?)
“Kyle, I’m pregnant.”
(Three words and I’m hooked. Oh, well done!)
-- JM Stewart’s Staking His Claim
“What the hell did ye find wrong with that one? She’s a
well-bred lass with a tempting dowry, and ye’re a blind man if ye missed those
breasts.” -- Maeve Grayson’s The Highlander’s Fury (If I’m smiling, I’m hooked…and the author most
definitely has me smiling.)
She’d read somewhere that the way to a man’s heart was
through his stomach, but Samantha McNead knew better than that—in certain men
the stomach was aiming just a bit too high.
Wade O’Riley was one of them.
(Haven’t we all felt that way about a man, or
twenty, in our time. She’s hooked me because already I’m identifying with the
heroine.)
-- Jill Shalvis’s Slow Heat
“You look like you’ve been hit by a truck.”
(Oh, really? And why?
What’s happened?)
Mackenzie Crowne’s That Dating Thing
“I need a wife, Carter, and I needed her yesterday.” Riding
in the back of the town car en route to a Starbucks, of all places, Blake
Harrison glanced at his watch for the tenth time that hour.
Catherine Bybee’s Wife by Wednesday (Can’t you feel his annoyance? If the reader can make me feel what the character’s feeling, I’m hers for the duration of the book.)
Sometimes the hook
comes in a set of carefully arranged lines.
The Change
Waikato Hospital,
New Zealand
The lights dimmed
and the humming intensified, echoing in her blood.
Radiation snaked
out from the machine like tentacles and struck deep. As if she’d gone down a
hill too fast, Jenna’s stomach lurched. She gasped aloud as internal organs
stretched and shifted and her heart beat frantically in her chest. She fought
the urge to vomit and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. Why did everyone say
x-rays were a piece of cake?
LaVerne Clark’s Affinity (I was hooked by this point and
there was more to the paragraph. I had to know what the author meant by the
first line: The Change.)
To me, the variety
and power of an opening hook are endless. In a book I recently contracted, Rain is a Love Song, this is my opening
paragraph.
It wasn’t the hardened
man who eased his motorcycle to the curb that snagged Gwen Morningstar’s
attention. Nor was it the wide spread of his shoulders or the way his black jeans
hugged his muscled thighs like a pair of lover’s hands. For sure, it wasn’t the
long scar on his right cheek or the small silver cross that dangled from his
ear. No, it was his pristine-white angel wings that dragged on the pavement.
In my current WIP, Jazzbeat of Surrender, I am floundering
with my opening. Big time. I have rewritten it, moved paragraphs, deleted, tweaked,
freaked and still don’t like it. But
as Hemingway said, writing is rewriting.
These
hives were going to kill her. For reasons she kept secret, weddings and
anything associated with romantic love made Simone Reynard’s skin crawl. While
most women sighed and cried at weddings, she suffered the annoying itch of
hives.
Her gaze
swept over her sister’s yard, lavishly decorated for the outdoor wedding
reception. She scratched at her chin, thankful concerns about the weather proved
fruitless; the fall day was gorgeous, although slightly cool. Thank goodness
her maman and Gwen, the other bride,
decided on a double ceremony. She’d only have to go through this misery once.
I’ll get
eventually. I guess.
What about you? Do you have trouble with your opening
hooks?
*** Oh, to all you talented writers that I mentioned and shared your opening hooks, Blogger's Label feature only allowed me so many characters, so I could not include the titles of your referenced work. Sorry.
Favorite Non-alcoholic Drink: The
cappuccinos Calvin makes me every afternoon. He whips the milk until it gets frothy.
